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That's a Festival Artifact: The Schwartz Shuffle

The second episode of the ninth season of Vanderpump Rules opens with Brock Davies and The Toms at Sweat Cycle. Tom Schwartz postulates about the thigh to junk ratio after admiring the size of Brock's thighs. Brock acts as a mediator for the Toms bar drama. Brock does not like the "Schwartz and Sandy’s" name. Tom Sandoval says Katie Maloney-Schwartz calling the last names "uninspired" is insulting to their friendship from their Craigslist’s meeting to the world most beautiful bromance. In his talking head, Schwartz confesses that he is the originator for calling the name uninspired and not Katie, who is baring the brunt of Sandoval’s hurt.

Lisa Vanderpump meets Ariana Maddix for lunch. Ariana brings LVP’s rosé to lunch. Ariana and Sandoval are using Sandoval's half of the house for collateral in their new bar. Ariana tells LVP that Lala Kent used her for publicity on a podcast to sell books and that they fought at Scheana Shay's birthday.

James Kennedy meets Sandoval to talk about their plans for Palm Springs. James says he’s asking Raquel Leviss to marry him in Palm Springs. Sandoval has been helping James plan the proposal. James thinks since Coachella is both so important to Raquel and also very romantic, it’s the perfect place to propose.

Lala and Randall Emmett are at home. Lala says she will find out about making the New York Times Best Seller list soon and we see flashbacks of Lala showing up uninvited to bookstores and signed her own book to help it sell. She tells Randall about her fight with Ariana and Lala's fantasy about drowning Ariana in her own pool being thwarted by thoughts of their daughter.

The Toms arrive at Villa Rosa in unplanned matching outfits. Sandoval spills the beans about the proposal to LVP. LVP asks the Toms about the women’s involvement in their new business. LVP is also not a fan of the name. Schwartz admits to feeling the name is uninspired and hiding behind Katie and asking her to sway Sandoval away from the name instead of telling Sandoval himself.


Lala and Randall are at their own rental in Palm Springs and Lala receives the call from her publisher that she did not make the New York Times Best Seller list. At the main house, Charli Burnett brings out her mannequin head for aesthetician school to celebrate finishing her finals. Lala and Randall arrive at the main house and Randall tells James that The Toms iced him out from investing in their newest bar and he seemed pretty salty about it. Brock sewed his own looks for the fashion show the group is putting on. Katie points out that Sandoval has planned a group activity that he competes in, hosts, and judges, only to eventually win. At dinner Randall brings up not being allowed to invest and tells Schwartz he is tired of receiving the "Schwartz Shuffle" of acting like Randall can invest and then not letting him. Randall makes digs that Schwartz isn't a good business partner and jokes that they're no longer friends. The producers shade Schwartz by asking him what the concept for the new bar is; he cannot come up with an answer. James tells the group he is no longer going to dj at SUR because of the fight he got into with Max Vanderpump. James explains he let his anger get the best of him. Lala interrupts the group comforting James to call them out on how she didn't receive the same reaction when she went off on Raquel. Lala then turns to Charli and targets her which ultimately brings up Charli's food issues which Lala is not sensitive about. Charli tells Lala that maybe she should get to know her before judging her. Lala agreed but said she would still "come out of pocket" if Charlie gave an opinion she disagreed with. Charli told her she thought that was unnecessary. They end the episode with an awkward hug.

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